Has it been a year?

On June 30th, it has been one year since the death of my sister-in-law, Trudy. It's kind of a surreal experience to realize that it has been a year and to relive some of the events of that day and to think of everything that has happened since.

My mind just naturally travels back to the horrific phone call from my little brother in Arizona saying that there had been a horrible accident with Trudy and her two little boys while they were on vacation in Utah. My brother, Trudy's husband, was out of reach as he was on an airplane flying to Utah to drive home with them. Trudy and her little boys were on their way to the airport to meet his plane when the accident occurred. My parents were out of reach as they were in the mountains of Arizona with no cell phone service. I didn't know the status of the injuries, but only that Adam (6) was at Primary Children's hospital and that Trudy was at McKay Dee (sp?) hospital. Tyler (2) was OK. With that information, Nate and I grabbed a neighbor to watch our kids, picked up Tresa, Trudy's sister, on the way and just started driving -- calling on our cell phones the whole way.

When we reached Primary Children's and saw Adam with his severe injuries, the impact of the severity of the accident was heart wrenching. We stayed with Adam for about an hour -- the hospital where Trudy was told us that she was in surgery and that a maternity specialist was with her as she was pregnant at the time. At that moment, we thought that she would be OK.

Aaron landed in Salt Lake to his name being paged over the loud speaker and several messages on his cell phone. He called me and told me to stay with Adam while he went to be with Trudy. After about an hour, a trauma counselor came to talk to us and told us that while Adam's injuries were severe, he was stable. She didn't know Trudy's condition, but she did know that she suffered head injuries, and she advised us to go be with Trudy. So, we left.

On our drive to the hospital, we were called and told that Trudy was brain-dead and on life support because the baby still had a heart beat. I don't know how we drove the rest of the way with all of the emotions that we were feeling.

When we got to the hospital, Trudy's family had been contacted and were in the waiting room. Aaron had asked for me to go back and to be with him. It was the saddest experience to be in the room with him and Trudy as he just talked and reminisced. I can't imagine the pain that he was feeling.

I stayed at Primary Children's that night to be with Adam. Aaron and his little boy, Tyler, stayed with Trudy. My parents and siblings all drove through the night to be with us. Aaron called me the next morning and asked me to beg the doctors to let Adam come with me because the baby's heart beat was gone and they were going to let Trudy off of life support. He wanted Adam to have the opportunity to say good-bye to his mom. I got off of the phone with Aaron and basically went into shock, crying and shaking uncontrollably. I had been somewhat composed until that time. And then everything just hit me. The doctors, naturally, would not let Adam go.

My family arrived. And my family and Trudy's family gathered in Trudy's room for a family prayer before they pulled the life support. It is truly amazing how life can change so quickly.

There was a funeral in Menden, Utah, a few days later, which her family planned; and then a funeral in Arizona the next week. The funerals were postponed as long as possible to see if Adam would be released from the hospital. He missed the funeral in Menden. He was released from the hospital on the day of the viewing in Arizona. He went straight from the hospital to the airport -- bruised and with a neck brace.

Little Tyler stayed with me the night before we flew to Arizona. I was truly amazed by how calm and happy he was. He didn't cry the entire week. As I was packing, he came up to me and said, "Jana, my mom's here." I asked Tyler if he would show me where she was. He took me into my boys' room and pointed to the middle of the floor. "She's right there. Hi mom!" I just knew that Trudy's spirit had been with him to help him through.

I stayed in Arizona for the next 6 weeks for a lot of reasons. One week after the funeral, my sister got married. We also had a family reunion after that. Life during those 6 weeks is another crazy story all together.

Although life has somewhat returned to normal for us, Aaron and his boys will have a continuous struggle as they try to find some sense of normality and as they try to seek some peace and understanding for the events that occurred. Trudy was a special person -- a great friend and a great mother. She is greatly missed and we love her.