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Have you ever asked yourself what you would be willing to do for the people that you love?
Nate and I have been talking about this question for several reasons. Nate's aunt recently found out that after 30 years of marriage, her husband has been having an affair for 5 years without her knowing. In this instance, the divorce was inevitable. Of course we don't know everything that went on in those years, but it appears that this husband was finding fault and justifying his actions based on faults.
In contrast, Nate's mother has been caring for his father who is a diabetic for years. She has cared for him through several major operations and major diabetic episodes. She's simply a saint. Her recent act of love is above and beyond the call of duty.
Because of Steve's diabetes, his weight has been fluctuating drastically. He has found in the past that the Jenny Craig program really works well for him. He recently tried to sign up again for this program, but was denied because of his increased health problems. He was so disappointed that he was denied access to the program, that Diane said she would sign up for the program and just give him the food.
It all sounds well and good, but the humiliation starts with the one requirement for the Jenny Craig program -- you have to weigh in weekly. Sadly, Diane's weight -- while being on "normal" food -- is increasing, while Steve's weight is decreasing. Diane is definitely not overweight; but nonetheless, her counselors are baffled with her lack of success and have taken to calling her at home regularly to boost her confidence -- and she must still weigh in weekly. Talk about humiliation!
Of course, this is now the family joke when we see them and we all analyze what Diane's eating because we know the counselors will be calling. But in all seriousness, what a better relationship to be in where you would be willing to suffer humiliation and sacrifice for the one you love rather than the above example where one just dwells on faults and is not willing to sacrifice.
We were just watching the LDS movie "Pride and Prejudice." One of the quotes in that movie says, "Happiness in marriage is just a matter of chance." I don't know about that. I think that happiness takes a lot of work and sacrifice. What do you think?
About Me
- Jana
- I am a well-rounded person with too many things that I like to do. I am probably too willing and too reliable and thus I end up with more things to do in one day than I can handle. I have 4 adorable little boys (Max, Jake, Devin, and Mason. I've been married to Nate for 10 years. He's a computer programmer -- very smart, creative, and an incredibly hard worker. I love music and have always loved to play and arrange songs on the piano. I love to read. If I could justify it, I would love to just read all day.
7 comments:
My husband and I just finish taking a 10 question test on how "our relationship is going" and I scored a bit higher than he, enough to separate us in two different categories. I was told 'we are doing wonderful' and his said he was going through a bad patch...I think sometimes it is the perspective we have an take on eachother...nevertheless I believe one of the foundations is respect.
What a sweet post Jana. I can't believe Nate's mom has to weigh in at Jenny Craig each week knowing that she won't be losing any weight. What a loving wife she is. Amazing.
It is interesting as we "grow up" to look around us and see all the different types of relationships. What a good example his parents are setting! It is so important to discuss these things (good and bad examples) in a marriage. It is also interesting to understand the response of your own spouse to examples around you.
Life is simply hard and what a blessing it is to have someone who is loving, supportive, and caring in your corner!
I think that well (me) try and bend over backwards to the ones I love. I don't even know what I would do if I found out my husband was having an affair. I would be utterly crushed (and in the back of my mind really don't know what I would do)
I think your mother n' law is doing what most of us would do for their spouse (i know I would)
I would most definitely have to disagree with happiness in a marriage being chance. I think that marriage is a commitment that you make as two individuals and that you work on it together as a team. It is a constant effort to keep communication going as well as love. I need to rent this movie! I have heard so much about it.
I too graduated in 1993! I actually had some good friends that went to Gilbert that graduated with you. email me your address and we can talk: texbonedoc@yahoo.com Talk to you soon!
Your mother in law sounds super sweet, I laughed at the thought of this but would do it in a second for Jimmy.
I definitely do not think a good marriage is a matter of chance more a matter of choice.
Happiness in marriage is just a matter of chance? That's about the stupidest thing I've ever heard! It reminds me of what my brother's very young, immature wife said to him when she decided she wanted a divorce: "I just think if we're meant to be together, it shouldn't be this hard." Well, duh. It is hard and that's just the way it is, even if you're a perfect match, even if you're soul-mates. Like Amie said, it's a matter of choice. I love that Nate's mom is going to Jenny Craig for her husband! Now that is a sacrifice.
What a special relationship the have. And what a good example for their children Steve and Diane provide. Your thoughts remind me of what I have always thought about Nancy (my mother in law) and the way she deals with Eric (my mentally handicapped brother in law). Early on one of the things I admired about her was her willingness to go through a lot of humiliation to make his life easier. It's a good lesson that can be applied in every relationship we have that matters.
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